Feel it Winter is here

After experiencing the minus degrees in bloemfontein, I came back to realize there isn’t much difference in Pretoria. So I decided to write a letter addressing this weather to a couple of people I mean things.

Dear Winter Things

I know there isn’t much you can do but you can at least try to be considerate.

I will start with you ‘bed’ plus bed sheets, at the shop they told me or whoever bought you, that you are very comfortable and I won’t be disappointed, manje why are you cold? Is this comfort?

Cold and Cough, please don’t be rude and sneak into my life, if I wanted your presence, I would’ve sent an invite.

Men why are we wearing “Mittens”?? Please wear something more appropriate like leather gloves.

Toilet seat, you so disrespectful and ungrateful, I chose you as my throne and this is how you reward my royal behind  but after all I wouldn’t want a warm toilet seat, that means someone just spent an hour and a half on you ‪#‎ScaryStuff‬.

Tiles, do you really have to be luxurious and cold at the same time?

Shoes and especially chucks (All stars), I don’t think I could ever have it in me to trust you ever again. You double-crosser you, don’t you think my feet have had enough of your moods?! When it is cold you are cold and when it is warm you are warm.

Justin Bieber fans, you should be ashamed of your self.

Back to winter things; Edge of door frames, wardrobe etc. I know you like cuddling with my pinky toe and you have separation issues with it, but If you really love my toe you will stop the emotional and religious abuse.

Showers and bathtubs I’m warning you!!!! The next time I open hot water and it comes out cold, I don’t know what I will do to you, I really don’t know hey.

Pens, do you know what it means to be one in a million and being the chosen one? I Guess not!!! I paid VAT for you and now you freezing mxm I demand Damages.

Does anyone have Mshoza’s numbers?? I want her to hook me up with her surgeon, my lips and skin are dry.

Etv, Anaconda is not what we had in mind


One Comment

  1. This is upsolutly phenomenal. When is your first copy coming out, which book shop should I visit to get it?

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